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Настроение сегодня удивительно сказочное. Хочется послать всех за тридевять земель!
***
Находишь лампу с джинном. Загадываешь ему два желания, а на третье просишь выловить тебе золотую рыбку. Заказываешь ей два желания, а на третье просишь вызвать старика Хоттабыча. Загадываешь ему два желания, а на третье просишь Конька-Горбунка, от которого напоследок получаешь цветик-семицветик. Надо всего только найти лампу с джинном, а дальше все пойдет, как по нотам!
***
История Мальвины доказала, что женщина легко может полюбить мужчину пусть и с деревянной головой, но зато обладающего Золотым ключиком.




Здравствуй, Иван Царевич, мы получили твою стрелу. К сожалению, сейчас все лягушки заняты, но твоя стрела очень важна для нас. Оставайся на линии.
***
А лисички взяли спички, к морю синему пошли, море синее зажгли. Долго-долго крокодил море синее тушил. Пирогами и блинами и сушеными грибами... Мой вопрос тупой и плоский: — Что курил Корней Чуковский?
***
— А что произойдет, если я буду кушать генномодифицированные продукты? — Вырастешь сильным и крепким. — И на кого я буду похож? — На Шрека.


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Posts from This Journal by “анекдоты” Tag

  • Просто анекдот

    Звоню в техподдержку, описываю проблему, подробно так описываю, а мне в ответ: - Прикоольно... Рисунок Вячеслава КАПРЕЛЬЯНЦА

  • 13 анекдотов о здоровом образе жизни

    Пить бросают все. Некоторые успевают еще при жизни. 18 лет: выскакивает сердечко, когда влюбляешься. 45 лет: выскакивает колено, когда…

  • Карикатуры и анекдоты. Выпуск 34

    А глобальное потепление-то каково, а? Маскируется. Под снегом. *** - Мы официально заявляем, что Россия не имеет никакого отношения к насильственной…

  • Карикатуры и анекдоты. Выпуск 27

    В основном, женщина может обидеться на вас в двух случаях. Если вы видите в ней женщину, а не человека. И если вы видите в ней человека, а не…

  • Карикатуры и анекдоты. Выпуск 26

    Пришедшая на дискотеку Алла почувствовала недомогание и поэтому приняла решение домогаться сама. *** Письмо в редакцию музыкальных программ: - Наш…

  • Смешные анекдоты и карикатуры. Выпуск 25

    Скачал видео "как победить прокрастинацию". Видео длинное. Решил, что посмотрю завтра. *** Начиная со следующего года в титрах к любому…

  • Анекдоты и карикатуры. Выпуск 19

    Коротко о себе... На любителя. *** Ни в коем случае не делайте культ из алкоголя. Просто бухайте. Спокойно так, без фанатизма. *** - Это правда? -…

  • Много смешных анекдотов и карикатур. Выпуск 16

    Карнеги написал книгу «Как перестать волноваться и начать жить», а мы и без книг делаем это каждую пятницу с мужиками в гаражах. *** Я…

  • Анекдоты и карикатуры! Выпуск 15

    Говорят, что понедельник - день тяжелый. Врут! Если работать без выходных, то никакой понедельник не страшен! ;) А еще поднять настроение в…

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Comments

( 487 comments — Leave a comment )
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0chen_interesno
Jun. 16th, 2017 12:06 pm (UTC)
прикольные анекдоты)
slavikap
Jun. 16th, 2017 12:11 pm (UTC)
Еще какие! :)
turkish_r
Jun. 16th, 2017 01:00 pm (UTC)
Некоторые вполне даже. А карикатуры слобоваты.
slavikap
Jun. 16th, 2017 02:40 pm (UTC)
Вот те раз, расстроили автора...
shatff
Jun. 16th, 2017 04:14 pm (UTC)
Особенно про Муму)
slavikap
Jun. 16th, 2017 05:27 pm (UTC)
Да, говорящая собака! Кто это ее научил? %)
miss_hohotyn007
Jun. 16th, 2017 07:57 pm (UTC)
про Муму понравилось
slavikap
Jun. 16th, 2017 10:59 pm (UTC)
Да что же это такое! ;)
hroft_clone3
Jun. 18th, 2017 08:59 pm (UTC)
slavikap
Jun. 18th, 2017 10:26 pm (UTC)
Класс! :)
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hroft_clone3
Jun. 18th, 2017 09:00 pm (UTC)
slavikap
Jun. 18th, 2017 10:26 pm (UTC)
:)))
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hroft_clone3
Jun. 18th, 2017 09:01 pm (UTC)
slavikap
Jun. 18th, 2017 10:27 pm (UTC)
Точно! :)
hroft_clone3
Jun. 18th, 2017 09:02 pm (UTC)
slavikap
Jun. 18th, 2017 10:27 pm (UTC)
Точно!
hroft_clone3
Jun. 18th, 2017 09:10 pm (UTC)
slavikap
Jun. 18th, 2017 10:28 pm (UTC)
Бедный...
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(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 20th, 2017 11:23 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 20th, 2017 10:39 am (UTC) - Expand
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hroft_clone3
Jun. 18th, 2017 09:13 pm (UTC)
slavikap
Jun. 18th, 2017 10:28 pm (UTC)
Серьезная разработка! ;)
(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 18th, 2017 10:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 12:41 am (UTC) - Expand
hroft_clone3
Jun. 18th, 2017 09:32 pm (UTC)
slavikap
Jun. 18th, 2017 10:29 pm (UTC)
Избушка-избушка!.. ;)
(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 18th, 2017 10:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 12:42 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 19th, 2017 07:58 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 10:04 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 10:31 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 19th, 2017 10:43 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 10:54 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 19th, 2017 11:02 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 11:11 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 10:04 am (UTC) - Expand
hroft_clone3
Jun. 18th, 2017 10:25 pm (UTC)
slavikap
Jun. 18th, 2017 10:29 pm (UTC)
Я тоже знаю ответ! :)
(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 18th, 2017 10:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 12:43 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 19th, 2017 07:56 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 10:29 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 10:29 am (UTC) - Expand
hroft_clone3
Jun. 18th, 2017 10:27 pm (UTC)
slavikap
Jun. 18th, 2017 10:30 pm (UTC)
У меня картинка не видна. Что тут?
(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 18th, 2017 10:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 12:44 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 20th, 2017 12:32 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 20th, 2017 12:32 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 20th, 2017 08:33 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 20th, 2017 10:30 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 12:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
hroft_clone3
Jun. 18th, 2017 10:38 pm (UTC)
slavikap
Jun. 19th, 2017 12:44 am (UTC)
Острый ножик!
(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 19th, 2017 07:54 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 09:29 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 21st, 2017 09:06 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 21st, 2017 09:08 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 21st, 2017 09:16 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 21st, 2017 12:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 21st, 2017 12:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 21st, 2017 01:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 21st, 2017 01:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 21st, 2017 12:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 21st, 2017 09:08 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 21st, 2017 08:46 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 20th, 2017 09:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 06:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 10:03 am (UTC) - Expand
hroft_clone3
Jun. 18th, 2017 10:39 pm (UTC)
slavikap
Jun. 19th, 2017 12:45 am (UTC)
Точно дебил! :)
(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 19th, 2017 07:54 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 09:29 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 19th, 2017 10:00 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - hroft_clone3 - Jun. 19th, 2017 10:15 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 10:15 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slavikap - Jun. 19th, 2017 10:15 am (UTC) - Expand
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